November

here is November - where is the time going? Outside my window stands a tree for which there is no color name that matches - It is gorgeous, somewhere between gold and amber and pumpkin...

News on me: sent my children's book manuscript to the editor at Delacorte Press. She is expecting it and knows it will arrive this week. After one year of writing it and ten years with the idea in my head - it is out of my hands. We will see.

News on Tommy - tommy's last A1C was 7.5!!! Doc. is happy with that - so are we. Getting the blood drawn from Tommy was horrible though, I mean traumatic times 10.

As we drove up to the lab, he was shouting, "I am not going! I am not getting out of the car!"

I carried him in and tried to calm him.

There was a wait - Tommy tried to leave the office. I said, "OK, hope you find your way home," knowing that my boy - the one who is always stuck to me like glue - would never go. So he cries and cries and cries. Other people in the cramped waiting room are silent. Other kids look at Tommy with wide eyes and their parents look at me saying, "Thanks a lot".

But I just whisper in his ear - It will be OK, Mommy is here, you will be fine, etc...."

It is his turn. He sits on my lap and cries like I've never heard him before. It's almost as if all of the sadness and fear about diabetes and school have escaped from their hiding place deep within Tom's 50 pound body.

The phelbotimist inserts the needle Tom screams, "What are you doing to me?" about 5 times - It comes out with a high pitched squeal.

Then, as the needle is in, he screams. "Take it out!" about 20 times in a row. It sounds like a train running along the tracks - takeitout,takeitout, takeitout...." Say it out loud - you'll see what I mean.

And then it is over - He calmly demands, "Tissue." Wiping his eyes and nose, he denies a sticker and says, "Bagel."

I thank the phelb. and leave the waiting room. The other kids are clinging to their parents. Sorry - it is not my fault the lab doesn't have sound proof walls!

We get to the car. We are quiet. I said, "How are you now?"
"ok," he sighs, "It wasn't that bad."

Next time - Daddy takes you, I think.

We go for a bagel and a talk and all is OK.

*Sigh*